For those of you who are gay and already out of the closet, I bring to you a few tips.
College is a great time to explore new feelings that may be looking to flourish. You just might find that as you explore these feelings (in a safe way) that there are others just like you.
Many wait until college to come out of the closet.
As far as relationships go, some of the friends that you have might be a bit more mature. They might be to handle what you are dealing with a bit more, as opposed to the high school friends that you hung around with.
Have some fun with it
If you spot a potential new friend to hang out with and you suspect that he or she might be gay like you, go up and introduce yourself.
Maybe that shy girl or guy that you see in your class is just looking for a new friend to talk to. Maybe they don’t know anyone either and those that they do know are straight. Some of the best people in the world I know are straight. But let’s be honest, straight people have limitations. In my experience, very few straight men or women will go to gay bars with you. Unless of course your best friend is a woman. Now, straight women can make excellent best friends for gay men or women. So go out of your way to meet another gay friend to hang around with. To me, the biggest mistake that you can make is spending most of your relationship time in the straight world.
Join a group on campus
There are many college level organizations that cater to gay women and men. It’s an excellent way for you to meet new friends. Don’t just spend your time investing in one person. What if he or she really isn’t gay? Or if they are, what if the actual friendship doesn’t work out. That is why you need a backup plan.
It’s healthy to have a backup plan. Go out with a few people and see which girl or guy you click with the most. A common mistake that many people make is that they put all of their eggs in one basket with one person.
Don’t act desperate
Instead of looking for the “one”, explore your options. Let everything happen naturally. I guarantee that if you do, the right person will find you. It’s usually when you are not looking that the person appears in your life. Same goes for friends. Don’t just assume that it will happen right away, because it won’t. You have to put yourself out there, but be safe.
Be safe
Too many people don’t take their safety into account. Have fun with it, but be smart too. Give your roommate a schedule of where you are going, especially at night. Let your current friends know your status too. That way if a problem occurs then he or she can have your back.
If you troll for people online, unfortunately, not everyone is who they say they are. Many of them are out to harm you. If you give yourself enough rope eventually you will be hung. So be discreet. Be careful about the information you give out. If it feels as though someone is pressuring you, than get out now. If something or someone makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t do it.
Before you explore things sexually get an update on their health status and their past relations. Know their HIV status and make sure they have recently been tested.
By doing any and all of these things you will be safe and have fun along the way. Never ignore that inner voice from within, especially if you suspect that something or someone doesn’t feel right. That is usually an indication that you need to get out fast.
I hope some of these healthy tips have helped. I was once where you are now. I made these mistakes, so you don’t have to. College gay men and women are out there and they’re looking for you, too.
