Dating your best friend’s ex can be a complicated thing when you are in college. There are so many variables to consider. It’s not as if you can go up to your friend and say “Hey, I’d like to date your ex Eric, I hope you are okay with that?”
By stating it this way, you are kind of leaving things closed when it comes to communication. I mean on the one hand you are letting your best friend know what you are doing, which is good. But on the other hand, you are not leaving any room for discussion. This can be seen as a pretty selfish thing to do. Being that he or she is your best friend there are a few protocols that you must go through.
Are you interested in dating your best friend’s ex in college?
First off, keep things open and honest. Discuss things with your friend. Let them know what is going and make sure that there are no ill feelings with you doing this. Establish some middle ground.
If after talking, she is still uncomfortable with it, think long and hard about moving forward with this. You need to ask yourself, “Is it worth risking a friendship over, especially a best friend?” Also think about what flaws you saw in him when he was dating your best friend. He is not going to magically change over night. If he didn’t change for your friend, what makes you think he will change for you?
Is your friend really over him
Make sure that your best friend is really over him. If the two of them haven’t officially moved on from one another, than you are once again put in an awkward place. You will be known as the “rebound relationship.” Plus, rebound relationships never work out. The sex may be amazing, but that is as far as it goes.
It’s what we call in psychology the “transitional period.” This is the person that is fun and exciting to date and have sex with, but you don’t really see it going anywhere. Nor are you looking for it to go anywhere, so be careful with the signals that you give out. The other person may be looking to fall in love, when you are not interested. All you see is a good time.
Be honest about your intentions, so that your friend doesn’t get weird. Make sure to do things discreetly. I have got news for you college kids, your friend may she is okay with this, but it doesn’t mean she want to hear about everything. It also doesn’t mean that your friend wants to see the two of you flaunting your relationship. Be careful about what you tell your friend. It may bring up moments of jealousy and she may begin to harbor ill feelings.
Dating your best friend’s ex while in college may seem like a good idea on paper, but when executed it might just blow up in your pretty little face.