This can be quite a depressing thing to go through, but it does happen. Take a look at this small example:
Let’s say you are out with some friend and you spot this guy from across the way. He keeps looking at you, and you keeping looking at him. You notice that he seems to be interested. He also notices the same thing from you too.
This guy is so dreamy and so attractive. It’s one of those “I have to have you moments.” Even before the two of you make your move towards one another, you begin to dream about your life together.
You dream inside your head about all the fun things that you will do with one another. A few moment later he comes over and you begin to talk. His eyes are so dreamy. His hair looks great, his body is undeniably hot. He becomes one of those “WOW” guys.
After some light chat for a few moments he asks for your phone number. Your friends start “crushing and gushing” about how cute he is, not to mention how lucky you are.
So after he gets your number he says he will call you. We tell ourselves that we are not going to wait by the phone. We find ourselves checking our phones every five minutes to see if there is a missed call or if he is calling. We even take the time to make sure that the phone is working and ask our friends to call us. We ask our friends to call us and they are sitting right next to us.
I know that many of you have done this. Let’s be real here: We have all done it, even me, back in the day.
Eventually, he does call and the two of you go out. Those fantasies that you built up in your mind about the fun things that the two of you will do, doesn’t happen. You go out and it’s like you have nothing to share or click with. That five minutes you spent in the bar the other night was the honeymoon period and now the magic is gone.
You tell him you want to play miniature golf and he tells you he doesn’t like it. You begin to share stories about growing up you find that you have nothing in common. You mention something about school and the only thing you find that you have in common is that you go to the same school, and yet you never see each other. It seems as though the only thing that you do have in common is the fact that you both like the way the other kisses. But let’s be real here, you can’t spend the whole time you are on a date making out, in spite of popular opinion.
The first thing you should be asking yourself is why you are with him, if there is nothing to hold you two together. We all like to have a hot guy on our arms, but that’s not enough to keep it going.
Have we become so encapsulated with the way a guy looks, that we forget to look at the compatibility factor? Have we becomes so desperate about having someone in our lives that we will take anyone?
I mean you could be dating someone based on how they look for months and then find that he is an ax murderer. Then what do you do?
Try looking passed the common ground and see if there are unchartered territories between the two of you, something small that might bring you together.
Will that be enough?
Dating someone based on the looks and the sex will not last long.
It has a very short shelf life. Once the hotness fizzles, you are pretty much done.
Before you accept his phone number, ask yourself this: What will keep us together when the hotness fades?