Having sex in college gives you wonderful opportunities to explore your likes and dislikes, improve on your performance and even find love.
For most college students, it is nothing but natural and fun. There are, however, some responsibilities and important considerations linked to having a healthy sex life and staying safe.
If you’re thinking about the “rules” of healthy and satisfying love in college, here are a few of the essentials to keep in mind before getting together with someone.
Essentials to Talk about First
In the heat of passion, many young people like you will refrain from asking the important questions. Even if they care about the answers, they may still keep silent in order not to disappoint an eventual sexual partner.
Still, to be safe and enjoy it responsibly, you have to inquire about two main things.
The first one is obviously contraception. The market offers so many options ranging from classics like the pill and condoms to contraceptive rings and patches.
Unless you are exclusive and tested often, barrier contraception like condoms is the only way to go. Not only do they prevent pregnancy effectively, condoms are the only contraceptives that reduce the risk of STI transmission.
Which brings us to the second question and the desire of two eventual partners to get tested. Regular STD testing is recommended for everyone who’s sexually active, including people in a monogamous relationship. There are many inexpensive and anonymous ways to get tested, which is why you should never underestimate the importance of the issue. Knowing your status and that of your partner will give you peace of mind, allowing for more fun and exhilarating experiences.
The Importance of Consent
Luckily, consent is making the headlines much more often than ever before. The topic of seeking out consent before engaging is especially important in college. And contrary to popular beliefs, both men and women need to seek consent from their partners before engaging in any kind of play.
If possible, talk about your boundaries and preferences in advance. This is especially important if you’re about to get with someone and you believe that the fling could turn into a long-term thing.
Even if you are having a one-night stand, you can inquire about the dos and don’ts your partner has in mind. There’s nothing wrong with asking “can I touch you there” or “are you sure you want to do this.”
Anytime a partner isn’t giving you enthusiastic approval for the stuff you’re doing, you should be wondering about their desire and willingness to engage in a specific sexual activity. There are so many ways to be intimate. If you believe that your actions are making someone uncomfortable, you can switch to something else that both of you will enjoy. It’s also ok to wait some time until your partner becomes fully comfortable and ready.
Having Sexual Fun in a Safe, Responsible Way
So far, we’ve been discussing only responsibilities but it is meant to be fun and exciting. Let’s now move on to the more enjoyable aspects of being intimate in college and that is exploration.
Good love isn’t just about penetration. There are many things to do and activities to enjoy, as long as both of you are on the same page.
You can have fun with foreplay, sensual massages, petting, mutual pleasure, oral and so many others. Light bondage and even BDSM can also be fun to test out, especially if you’re interested but you’ve never had such experiences before.
There are ways to practice for such activities and spice things up through the use of toys. For example, toys to use in your butt are a lot of fun and they give you a good idea about what to expect. The same applies, toys for couples and bondage accessories.
Don’t limit yourself in what’s possible to try out, especially if your partner is keen to engage in such activities. College gives you a wonderful opportunity to explore the limits of your sexuality. Gaining awareness early on will definitely contribute to more enjoyable, high quality experiences later on in life.
Don’t Be Afraid to Stay within Your Comfort Zone and Enforce Boundaries
Just like it’s important to seek out consent, you should also get comfortable enforcing your own sexual boundaries.
Peer pressure and the desire to be liked by someone can force you into doing stupid, even dangerous things. So what if you got together this one time without using a condom? So what if you gave into butt stuff, even if you know that you’re not ready for it?
There’s a lot wrong with engaging in such activities. Coercion is a real thing and you should learn to recognize it. Also, you should have enough self-confidence and self-respect to walk away from situations that test your boundaries and put you into a really uncomfortable spot.
You can say no. the fact that someone is pushing you out of your comfort zone is indicative enough of their attitude towards you. And while you may feel pressured to give in during that particular moment, standing your ground would prove to be much more vital in the long run.
Compatibility is about both chemistry and respect. If the second element is missing, it is not going to be the most thrilling and amazing experience in your life. You are entitled to withholding and enforcing your boundaries. The effects of your boundaries not being respected can last a really long time and they’re really not worth the 30 minutes you’d spend getting naked with someone.
Healthy Connection Starts with You
College love can be fun, messy, exciting and even disappointing at times. It’s really up to you to determine exactly what you’re going to experience.
Needless to say, you’re eager to try out new stuff. That’s perfectly normal and ok, as long as you’re taking care of your physical and mental health.
Chances are that you’ll be pushed to do stuff you’re not comfortable with. It’s even possible to put a partner in a similar situation due to your inexperience and eagerness. What matters in such instances is communicating, listening and learning from your mistakes. If you engage in these three steps, you’ll definitely have a lot of fun in college and you’ll even enjoy the potential of forming meaningful, long-lasting bonds.