I Need You Baby: A Look at Relationship Dependency

We all know “that girl.” The girl that is in constant need of attention, affection, and love.

The girl who, when she isn’t in a relationship, is looking for one. What the casual observer would call, “boy crazy,” but the careful observer would diagnose as “relationship dependent.”

Don’t fool yourself thinking that it’s just a “phase” or something that you or your friend will just “get over” either.

What is relationship dependency?

Relationship dependency is often the more noticeable aspect of a deeper issue going on. It can stem from many things, most often, however, relationship dependency is found in women with low self-esteem, with little to no self-confidence.

Self-worth, love yourself

Remember that self-worth is not found in others, but in yourself and your attitude about who you are and your worth to yourself.

The hard part is finding feelings of value and self-esteem within yourself and realizing that you are worthy of love not only from others, but mostly from yourself.

Once you find your own self-worth and take pride in who you are, the need to have someone by your side 24/7 will subside.

The problem with low self-esteem or self-worth may stem from feelings of inadequacy in one’s life. Perhaps you feel bad about yourself because you don’t have the job you want or you don’t think you measure up to some level of beauty, success or power.

Whatever the reason, you have to realize that loving who you are has NOTHING to do with any of the aforementioned.

If you strip away someone’s title, money or looks, what do you have left? The barebones, the real person, the real you.

If you focus on your good qualities, rather than what you don’t have or whatever you feel you “need” to be happy, you will find it much easier to love yourself.

If your friend is relationship dependent…

Be supportive. Seeing a friend dealing with the emotional rollercoaster that is relationship dependency, the best you thing you can do is remind your friend of his/her worth to you and your group of friends. Be supportive: offer your ear to your friend and help him/her through the emotional stress of building self-esteem.

If it’s you with the problem…

Be prepared to take the time to do some real soul searching as to why you feel you have to run to someone else for reassurance of your value.

Separate yourself from your emotions and the feelings you have come to find comfortable. Spend some time being single and find out who you are.

How can you expect someone else to love you if you don’t even love yourself?