Calling it Quits: When is it Time to Breakup?

When in college, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut with your partner and never even notice it.

You’ve been dating for quite some time now and maybe the fighting seems normal or the fact that you constantly criticize him/her with your friends is somewhat of a mundane routine.

Maybe your friends have attempted to convince you that a breakup is the right way to go or perhaps the idea has crossed your own mind several times.

So how DO you know when it’s time to breakup? Are there signs you should look for? How do you know when it’s time to walk away from a relationship and into a breakup?

The Break Up

1. You fight all the time.

Whether you are drunk or sober, constant fighting is usually a sign that a breakup (or at least a BREAK) is needed between the two of you.

I know it can be easy to dismiss drunken fighting (especially if you never fight when sober), but there is a reason for the buzzed quarreling.

Perhaps the alcohol is lowering both your inhibitions and allowing you to voice how you truly feel about one another.

If this is the case, you need to either talk about things when you are sober or take a break from the bottle.

If all you do is fight when you are together (whether drunk or sober) who wants to deal with that? Whether you think you are in love or not, constant fighting is not the mark of a healthy or lasting relationship. There are usually deeper issues than those you are fighting over and most of the time they cannot be resolved.

If any of the above sounds like you and your relationship, it may be time to walk away now.

2. You avoid spending time with him/her.

If you not longer enjoy spending time with your partner and even come up with excuses for why you can’t, this is a major sign that its time to breakup.

When your butterflies are replaced with hornets and your partner is getting on your nerves so badly that you can’t even spend time with him/her anymore, it’s time to have the talk and move on.

3.  You criticize your partner to his/her face and with your friends.

Your better half should be just that: your better half. When your partner brings out the worst in you and you find yourself telling anyone who will listen all about it, you need to take a step back and reevaluate how you feel about your significant other.

When you start picking him/her apart for the littlest things, like a haircut, shoes, or something slight, you know that it’s not REALLY those things that are bothering you. When you are in love, it’s easy to look past all of those little things because you care about the person and want to be with them; when those little annoyances start coming to the surface, it’s time to move on.

4. Other people start looking REALLY good.

When you first started dating, you looked right past that cute guy/girl giving you the eye, but now? The hottie at the end of the bar ain’t lookin’ so bad after all. You start to find other people much more attractive than your current mate and harmless flirting isn’t so harmless anymore.

If you imagine yourself going home with someone else and feeling like you REALLY want to do it, it’s time to sever ties with your partner and move on. If you are no longer attracted to your man/lady, it’s only be a matter of time before you cheat on him/her with someone you deem “more attractive”.

5. You are trying to mold him/her into someone else.

If your partner does not possess the qualities you are looking for in a mate, you may begin trying to change him/her into the type of person you WANT to be dating. Projecting your wants and needs onto another person is always dangerous; you always end up hurting the other person’s feelings and never getting what you want.

You may be able to change your partner for a certain period of time, but in the end, you are both pretending. You are pretending your partner is someone else, and your partner is pretending to be someone he/she thinks you want to be with. Eventually, one of you will break and it will all come crashing down.

If your partner does not currently possess several traits you see in your ideal mate, it’s time to cut him/her loose and end the relationship because neither one of you will ever find true happiness with each other.

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