We all pride ourselves on being there for our significant other, but what if it’s just on the surface?

Where are you when your girlfriend or boyfriend is going through emotionally challenging times? Are you hanging in the background or are you there for every step of the way?

Why is emotional stability important in relationships?

Being emotionally supportive of your partner means being willing to talk about the uncomfortable things. Maybe there are serious family issues or maybe one of you suffered abuse in your past. Whatever the cause for the emotional uneasiness, above all you need to establish trust with your partner.

Whether or not you or your partner are willing to talk about and work through tough issues is a major milestone; the comfort and peace garnered from knowing that they can trust you in everything is priceless.

Young couple holding one another

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Sometimes, however, some issues are left unsaid and not talked about because of an unwillingness to open up.

While it can be difficult to discuss tough issues, the best thing you or your partner can do is show support. Being available as a shoulder to cry on is just part you or your partner’s job description.

When you don’t let you guard down to the person who cares for you, it causes problems in the relationship.

Last year, I was dating Liam. We were really close and had a great relationship—we talked about everything, except for his family. I knew the basics: mom and dad were divorced, he hadn’t seen his had in almost ten years and he was mostly raised by his mom and older brothers.

I knew that there was more than that, of course; there were layers upon layers of hurt and pain that were brewing inside him that were off-limits to talk about.

I’m not gonna lie and say that I never got angry with him for not letting me in. There were times when I got really frustrated with him—he’d be moping around and I would have an idea of why he was upset, but I would never really know.

When you’re in love, you stick it out. You become that shoulder to cry on, the voice of reason, and a person to talk to. By avoiding problems and not talking about what is REALLY bothering you, how can you expect to be close to the other person or have them support you? No one is a mind reader and the level of emotional stability in a relationship is a huge factor in whether or not it will last.

Love means working it out, talking it through and being there for each other–no matter what. If you aren’t getting the emotional support you need in your relationship, you may need to open up more, or convince someone else to let you in.

couple hugging

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