We’ve all been there: you’re in love, and even if you knew it was coming or not, there is nothing worse than being dumped.
College Cures knows it can be tough to deal with any type of breakup, but when you are in college a breakup affects your school work, your social life, and your overall sense of well-being. You can’t study or go to class, you don’t want to go out for fear of seeing your ex (or seeing him/her with someone else) and you just feel like absolute shit.
While everyone needs time to mourn, College Cures is here to give you tips on how to get through it. So turn off that sad music, pull up the blinds, change out of your pajamas, and get your life back on track!
Breakup Tip #1: Remove the Memories/Reminders
In today’s digital world, breaking up is hard to do because of social media. You have to change your status on Facebook (which everyone can see), you have a million and one pictures of the two of you together in happier times, countless emails and posts about your relationship, and all the other stuff you want to forget ever happened.
Get rid of the photos
Depending on the severity of your breakup or how well you can resist temptation, you may want to delete your ex from your Facebook all-together, but this does not apply to everyone. If your ex is no longer in your life, why keep dwelling on the past?
I am not saying you should delete all of the pictures of the two of you from your Facebook, but why not make it easier on yourself and take him/her out of your profile pictures? You don’t have to delete the pictures either; you can simply use the crop tool.
This goes for all the stuff you have in your room too.
Picture frames, gifts, or little items you have lying around that remind you of your ex, put them in a box and shove it under the bed. When you are trying to get over someone, you don’t need to be reminded of all the good times you had together; put the memories away for now and take them out in a few months when you’re ready to deal.
Block his/her status updates
There is nothing worse than going on Facebook and seeing status updates from your ex (i.e. – changing his/her status to single), so why not nip it in the bud and block his/her status updates now?
Next time his/her status pops up on your news feed, look for the “X” in the top right corner. When you click on it, it will ask you if you want to hide all status updates from this person; be strong, click the “X”.
Breakup Tip #2: Don’t Be a Booty-Call!
While the word “booty-call” typically refers to a woman, this can also apply to men. If your ex dumped you, he/she may find themselves in a bit of a jam once your relationship is over: they’re still horny.
Don’t Give In
Sometimes it may seem like a good idea to be your ex’s booty-call. You may think hooking up will “re-spark” the flame and he/she will want to take you back, or you are “showing him/her what they’re missing.” This is a big No-no. By continuing to hook-up with an ex, you are simply prolonging the pain for yourself, because in the end, it’s not going to get him/her back.
If you continue to hook-up with your ex, you may think you are regaining control, but really, you are giving away all the perks of being in a relationship for free. Your ex can call you up at any time, ask to hook-up, and then once it’s over he/she is not obligated to call, see you, or even care how you feel.
Trust me, we all know how tempting that 1am text can be, especially after a night of drinking. And who could forget about the mid-day text/call “I miss you.” ….Yeah, I bet you do.
You are a college-educated person, so don’t be a dope.
Don’t let someone take advantage of you when you are feeling vulnerable, even if it is someone you once loved and trusted.
Think about it this way:
At one time or another in your life, someone had a big crush on you….but you didn’t really feel the same way. The person was cool, mildly attractive, funny, whatever, but they just didn’t do it for you. You may have hooked-up with him/her, led em’ on, and then what did you do in the end? You didn’t seriously date them, you didn’t give them the time of day, and you probably used them for something you wanted/needed. They ended up crushed, while you left unscathed.
IT IS HUMAN NATURE TO DO THIS!
Even if you think you have never done it, at some point in your life, you have taken advantage of someone who let you take advantage of them, SO DON’T LET SOMEONE DO IT TO YOU!
Breakup Tip #3: Take Some Time for Yourself
Admit it: since being in a relationship, you have lost a little bit of yourself. You may have given up the things you liked to do because you didn’t have time for them anymore, or lost touch with friends you were once close to. After a breakup, the best thing you can do is keep busy doing the things you love with the people you care about.
Throw yourself a party
Okay, it doesn’t have to be a rager, but why not clean up your dorm or apartment, break out the ol’e beer pong table, and invite some friends over on a Friday night? What better way to move on from a breakup than to invite the guys or girls over for some drinking, games, or just all-around chatter?
Not only will you feel good being around people who care about you while having fun, you will also put yourself “back on the market” to the girls/guys in your circle of friends and beyond. What better way to say “I am confident, happy, and I am not going to let this break-up bring me down,” than to throw a party?
I understand not going out the first week of a breakup, it is a tough time for everyone. However, by the next weekend, you need to put on your going-out clothes and get back into the groove of things. You don’t have to throw a party, but make plans for every day of the weekend so you not only have something to look forward to all week, but you won’t have to think about what you are doing the day of.
Call up some friends and decide on where you are going each night, what kind of booze you are drinking, and what kind of night you want to have. Drinking heavily after a breakup may seem like a good idea at first, but it can actually be the worst thing you can do. Alcohol is a depressant and when you consume excessive amounts, it can make you feel hopeless, depressed, and worse than you felt before.
Don’t focus on getting black-out drunk, just focus on having a good time, forgetting about the problems you had all week, and rebuilding the friendships you may have lost touch with. If you’re not sitting at home dwelling about your dead relationship, you are opening yourself up to meeting new people and making new friends.
Pick up a hobby
What types of activities did you do before you were in a relationship?
Were you constantly sketching? Did you play an intramural sport? Hitting the gym everyday? Practicing a musical instrument? Addicted to a television series?
Whatever it is you used to do before you started dating your ex, start doing it again.
Not only pick up on the things you used to do, but start new hobbies as well.
Take advantage of the fact that you are at a university/college with hundreds of clubs, organizations, and fun things to do with people just like you.
Like to write? Join the school newspaper. Like tennis? Head down to the courts with a friend to blow off steam. Love to cook? Try baking or some new recipes in your free time.
Need to get better grades?
Get organized and get those grades up (we all know you have been skipping class)!
Want to get lost in a book?
Head to Amazon.com and order a series like Harry Potter (or whatever) to get your mind off your ex.
It will make you feel good to immerse yourself in activities that bring you pleasure and happiness with people who share your passions.
Do something that makes YOU feel good because YOU are the only person who matters right now.