It can be hard when you have a crush on someone! You don’t know how to act when they are around, you feel awkward and nervous when you talk to them and often times you’re scared to tell them how you feel.
In other cases, you may be really close to someone, a friend perhaps, and you have now developed feelings for him/her and don’t know what your next move should be.
I talked talk to my pal Nicole Laemers, aka the Dating Expert, and she put together a nice list to help you take your friendship to the next level!
Situation 1: You Have Class With Your Crush
This situation is ideal because school work provides many outlets for getting together before, during or after class.
If you find yourself in this situation, try to create as many opportunities to see your crush as possible using the following methods:
Sit Near Him/Her
If you aren’t already doing this, then you need to GET ON IT NOW!
For all I know, you may only be at the creepy stalker stage where you secretly watch your crush out of the corner of your eye when he/she isn’t looking from across the room…time to move on.
The next time you have class, sit next to your crush and strike up a conversation. If you are shy, forget the conversation and just grab the seat…you can work up to the conversation after you feel more confident.
Ask to borrow notes
This way, you will have to talk to your crush in class (and most likely out of class) to coordinate when you will be giving back his/her notes. In order to avoid just handing them back the next class period, ask to borrow them on a Thursday, when you know you won’t be meeting again until the following week.
Now, you will not only be able to meet up with him/her on the weekend, but it will give you a chance to ask questions/strike up a convo about your crushes’ weekend plans (maybe even score an invite)!
Ask for study help
This is a great opportunity because you can try and schedule some alone time with your crush.
Ask to meet up at the at the library or one of the cafes after class so you guys can compare notes, go over exam questions, or help each other on one of the upcoming assignments.
You two will bond while studying and if you two hit it off, maybe the next time, ask to meet somewhere more private like a study lounge or dorm room.
Pair Up On a Group Project
This could not be an easier way to get to know someone/flirt/bond.
If you are working in a group, you will obviously be talking a lot, collaborating, and let’s face it, goofing off, so why not take advantage and step up your flirting game a bit?
Ask to meet up for a group project lunch and use it as a chance to talk about your project, but also to get to know your crush out of the classroom. He/she will start to see you more as a friend (or possible girlfriend/boyfriend) instead of just some person he/she works with in class.
Situation 2: You Live in the Same Dorm or are Apartment Neighbors
This is another great situation because you have a lot of opportunities to see your crush! Take advantage of the fact that he/she lives next door or on your floor and turn it into something fun for everyone!
Invite Your Crush and his/her roommates over for a neighbor/floor dinner
Tell the guys you will provide the dish if they provide the drinks and make it into a mini-party (if you are a guy, tell the girls they can make the food or get the drinks).
Order a couple of pizzas or whip up something easy like Chicken Parm and tell them to come over for dinner, drinks and maybe a few games.
Organize a Food & Football Party in Your Dorm/Apartment
What better way to take advantage of the football/basketball season than to organized a get-together with friends? If you are a guy, it won’t take much convincing to throw this type of party: invite your crush and her roommates over for some food and sports, and maybe have them bring the drinks (or vice versa).
If you are a lady, it MAY take some convincing to throw a sports-themed get-together, but as long as there is food, booze and boys, it really shouldn’t be a problem with your roommates.
Tell the guys you will provide either the drinks or food, invite your crush and his roommates and start flirting, girl!
Listen up ladies!
if you are not into sports and you don’t know what is going on, you don’t have to pretend like you do or act like a complete idiot if you do know what’s going on. Just be yourself, ask questions if you don’t know something, and enjoy yourself!
Throw a Pre-game Party Before Heading Out
Invite your crush and a few other friends (make sure to invite his/her friends/roommates) to pre-game in your dorm or apartment before heading out.
This is a GREAT way to strike up a conversation with your crush while you are both surrounded by your friends in a comfortable, casual environment and feeling liquid confident.
If you are looking for a chance to get closer to your crush, suggest playing a game like beer pong and see if he/she wants to be your partner. This will give you a chance to “bond” as teammates working together toward a common goal and will give you more of an opportunity to flirt and get close.
At this point “in the game” you should be stepping up your flirting so you give your crush some kind of indication that you are AT LEAST interested in them, attracted to them, or whatever. When he/she gets the vibe that you like them, your crush will know it’s okay to make a move or be more flirtatious with you back!
Situation 3: You See Your Crush at a Party
Whether you planned it or it is a “coincidence” that you and your crush are at the same party, do not shy away from him/her; use this is an opportunity to mingle, flirt and get to know one another!
Make eye contact
If you see your crush, do not look away (especially if you already made eye contact). If you see him/her, wait to make eye contact and then smile or wave.
Once you have established that you are both aware that the other is at the party, the next move is up to you. I would not suggest making a straight bee-line for your crush, but you also don’t have to wait for him/her to come to you.
According to Nicole, you should wait a few minutes, finish up your conversations with friends, finish your drink, and then make your way toward your crush (assuming he/she hasn’t already come to you). This way, you are still showing your interest, but not appearing over-eager.
HOWEVER, if you feel confident/comfortable, there is no reason why you cannot head over to your crush as soon as you see him/her.
Bring over a drink for your crush
I like this rule because 9/10 times it always works.
As a psychology major, I can tell you this tip is all about the rule of reciprocity, meaning if you give someone something (a gift, your services, etc for “free”), they automatically feel indebted/obligated to return the favor to you in some way or another.
If you walk up to your crush armed with more than a witty ice breaker (this is where you offer them a beer or one of whatever you are drinking), your crush will feel flattered that you offered them a drink and they will most likely stick around for a conversation.
Introduce your crush to the host/hostess or your friends
If you know the person throwing the party or some of your friends are close by, definitely introduce your crush to them so he/she feels important.
It will also give you the opportunity to have a group conversation with your friends AND your crush to break the ice and keep the conversation flowing smoothly.
This is completely optional, but you can tell your friends ahead of time to talk you up a little while you are around your crush (NOT in an obvious way, but maybe ask them to tell a story that puts you in a good light), so this way your crush can see a different side of you from the people who know you best.
Situation 4: You See Your Crush at the Bar
These tips are much like the party tips, but we can take it a step further with the rule of reciprocity.
Since you are at a bar and there is an actual, tangible dollar amount attached to each drink you are buying, this gives a little more leverage with your crush.
Buy him/her a drink
Nicole says, As soon as you see your crush, tell him/her you are getting another drink and offer to buy him/her what you are drinking or whatever it is they would like
By doing this you are establishing a few different things: first, your interest in your crush, second, your level of generosity, and third, how much you value talking to him/her.
It’s one thing to throw a Natty Light from your purse or backpack at your crush, but quite another to buy him/her a glass of wine or mixed drink.
Get the drink, return promptly, and strike up a conversation. Do not buy your crush a drink and then walk away; the window of time you have for them to feel “obligated” to talk to you begins when you buy the drink and ends when the drink is finished.
I am by NO MEANS suggesting that your crush will ONLY talk to you if you purchase him/her drinks! All I am saying is, if you opt for this plan of action, have some follow through and you will be happy with the end results.
Ask to sit down so you can talk
If there aren’t any seats at the bar, ask your crush if he/she would like to grab a table alone or with friends so you can continue your conversation (“…it’s just so loud over here..”).
If you are not feeling confident on being alone with your crush, bring him/her over to a table of your friends so the pressure will be off and you two can relax.
If you do choose to sit alone, choose two chairs that are close to one another so you can have a conversation or get a little bit closer.
Ask to Dance or Join a Group of Friends
If you or your crush are in party mode and you can’t sit still, ask him/her to dance or to meet up with your friends on the other side of the bar.
If you do end up dancing, try not to go right into dirty dancing mode; feel out your crushes moves first to see what he/she is into before jamming your hand down his/her pants and thrusting violently into his/her pelvic or ass region.
If you opt for joining a group of friends, make sure to introduce your crush to all of your friends, but keep your attention focused on him/her so your crush doesn’t feel awkward! Keep in mind he/she doesn’t know/doesn’t care about Joey puking on Melissa last night or how Jessie got a DUI on Friday.
Try not to get carried away with drunken antics once your friends enter the picture; remain collected (aka not wasted), keep the attention focused on him/her, and you will be fine!