Avoiding the Unhealthy “College” Relationship

So, you’re a male college student and you’re at the bar on a Friday night.  You’re talking to a pretty girl who’s mesmerizing you with her knowledge of Old Crow Medicine Show, Bob Dylan, and South Park, and you pretty much start contemplating when you should propose.  You leave the bar together and start walking her home.  You’re both drunk, still talking, and giggling like you’re four years old.  When you get to her place you kiss goodbye, and on your solo walk home you’re beaming with happiness and you can’t believe what just happened to you.  You can’t wait until tomorrow morning so you can text her to figure out when you can hang out again.

So, cut to the following morning, or more like afternoon when you wake up.

You’re still thinking about her, still happy, and decide to text her.  You text her around 1:00 pm, and then you wait. And wait. And wait.  You keep checking your phone to make sure your message actually went through, and you come up with several excuses as to why she hasn’t responded.  Seven, eight, nine hours later and there’s still no reply.  But, almost into the tenth hour, you get a text from her asking you to come out.  She gives no explanation, no apology, and she’s clearly intoxicated.  But, of course you go out to meet up with her anyway.

You get to the bar/party/whatever scenario she was in, and she’s just as pretty as you remember; she’s just as funny as you thought; and the “connection” the two of you had was still there.  You proceed to get more and more drunk and the two of you had a heavily intoxicated, magical night that seems like an exact repeat of the night before.  You go home thinking that maybe you made a bigger impression on her and that she’ll text you the next day.

But, of course that doesn’t happen.

You have no contact on Sunday.  Monday as you’re walking to class, you randomly pass her and all she does is give you awkward eye contact and doesn’t speak.  This awkward little weekend routine goes on for months and continues to increase in severity, and you’re getting more and more frustrated with the situation and with life in general.

I have personally witnessed a situation such as this in my college career with two close friends of mine.  I was closer with the male and I’d try to help by finding out any information that I could from her, and then from him, and would keep going back and forth to knock some sense into each of them.  It was quite exhausting to say the least, and it ended up not working.  She wasn’t willing to change, and he eventually ended the routine.

As a friend and witness to this, my advice to you guys, is to not be that guy.  I understand that college is about fun, new experiences, but when it gets to the point where you’re being taken advantage of and you’re hurt, you need to realize that that’s not fair to you and it just isn’t worth it.  My advice to you ladies, is to not be that girl.  Don’t be the girl who says if you know about indie music and South Park and Family Guy, you can have any guy in the palm of your hand.  It’s important to objectively look at your behavior and realize when you need to be by yourself and work out any personal issues you may have, before you can be in a healthy relationship with another person.  Don’t take advantage of someone else just because you’re pretty and you can.