Roommates in College: How to Solve Our Differences

college roommates having funAre you beginning to dislike your college roommate? Do you think that she might be feeling the same way about you too?

It’s normal to feel frustrated about your roommate.

Roommates are bound to do things that eventually will get on each others nerve. But what happens when it gets out of control?

What you need is a little communication.

A little frustration with your roommates in college is normal. So, is a little stress. But what happens when the stress and frustration leads to a break down of communication between the two of you. Be proactive, try opening up the lines of communication once more. College life is a tough thing to navigate through anyway. You have endless classes and many extra-curricular activities that you need to be involved with. Not to mention the boyfriend you are seeing and your other friends that you have at your side.

So, try to see what to you can do COMMUNICATION wise and try to practice PATIENCE. But what happens when the PATIENCE runs out? What happens when the roommate that you once thought so highly of may not be a roommate much longer? The first thing that you should do is address the problem to her (or him) — depending on the situation. Talk to them about it. You will come across one of two scenarios. Either your roommate will be knowledgeable of what is going on and she just might be waiting for you to bring it up or she is going to be clueless.

When arranging a time to talk pick something that works for both of you. If you tell your roommate a head of time that you need to talk, chances are she may know what is going on. This will give you both a chance to clear your heads and arrange your thoughts.

Sit down and discuss things with her to see what the two of you can work out. When you discuss it with them think about the most important things that may be bothering you.  Does she come in late at night and make noise? When she comes in late at night, does she have a complete lack of regard for your stuff and your personal space? What if she does this during the waking hours? Does she try things on that you ask her not to? Does she invite herself into your personal time that you spend with your boyfriend or other friends?

If she does any of this, than talk to her about it.

She may not have been raised with any level of understanding about BOUNDARIES. So the fact that she is clueless may be justified.

It’s not justified if she continues the behavior. Extend the line of communication.

Once you discuss the issues that have been bothering you, give her the chance to explain. She gave you that same RESPECT, so you need to give that RESPECT back to her.

The keyword is LISTEN!

Don’t just assume that because you have got a list of problems with your roommate that she may not have the same with you. You may be doing things from her perspective that you might not even be aware of.

So LISTEN to one another. Once the talk is over let it all set in. Don’t just BOMBARD each other for an answer right away. Give each other SPACE AND TIME to come to a suitable conclusion.

Remember every situation is different. If you both decide that you are better off friends than roommates, than at least you can part amicably. There are some people that are just not meant to live together. And it’s better to discover this early on, instead of waiting until you are barely on speaking terms.


Because your experience with your roommate should be a good one, not a conflict of interest.

photo credit: silent7seven via photopin cc

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