Recently a friend of mine was heartbroken because one of her best friends, or so she thought, asked out the guy she liked.
My friend had confided in her “best friend” (let’s call her Ali) and woke up four days later to find out—via Facebook—that Ali had asked out the guy and they were dating.
Consoling my friend was easy: I told her that Ali wasn’t her friend, she needs to distance herself and needs to remind herself every day that she can’t trust Ali.
Ironically it wasn’t the guy she was upset about, it was the friend that betrayed her she was mourning.
It got me thinking about Ali. Let’s play devil’s advocate and assume that Ali isn’t evil, manipulative and doesn’t secretly want to get what her friends want. Let’s assume Ali and this guy have a serious connection: what does a girl do?
Here are 5 things Ali should have done and 5 things YOU should do if you ever find yourself crushing for the same guy as your friend.
1. Always ask for permission
Friendship is based on trust and no matter what, you need to be able to talk to your friend about your feelings. Your friend may surprise you with their maturity.
Even if your friend throws a hissy fit, at least she knows what’s coming her way.
2. Weigh your friendship vs. romantic companionship
Whether we like it or not, the average friendship outlives the average romantic relationship.
Chances are boyfriends and girlfriends will come and go, but your friends will be in your lives forever. Ask yourself how important your friendship is because odds are it won’t be the same if you go for your best friends man.
Essentially, is this person worth it?
3. Confess your feelings ASAP
When your friend shares that she likes a guy, and you know you like him too, tell her ASAP! If you choose not to say anything, then you better not plan on taking action on your feelings.
By telling your friend right away, she can’t see your confession as an act of betrayal.
4. If you get the guy, don’t rub it in
This includes sharing details of your relationship, posting sappy Facebook statuses, smothering his wall with lovey dovey sentiments and posting a new picture of the two of you.
Yes, you’re entitled to embrace your relationship, but a good friend doesn’t do that.
If you’re the friend who lost out, don’t waste your time crying over it. Get back into the swing of things and if all else fails, take a vacation like a cruise from CruiseDirect!
5. Don’t talk about the love triangle
If you get the guy, then consider yourself lucky. Don’t tell him and the entire world about how you and your friend liked the same guy, but you got him.
Why? It’s embarrassing for your friend and more importantly, it makes you look petty.