Moving away to college often means one thing to most students… FREEDOM!
It’s finally your chance to escape the rules that your Mom and Dad have enforced upon you for the past 18-plus years. You can stay up as late as you want, eat whatever you want and even skip class if you want. The world is your oyster!
However, just because you’ve moved away from home doesn’t mean your parents stop parenting you. They’re called helicopter parents.
What do you do when your parents can’t seem to give you space, even if you are hours away? Here’s some advice to help you deal.
Communicate how you feel
Unless you explain how you feel, nothing is going to change. Try talking to your parents and discussing your side of things. They might not even realize that they’re hovering! When you’re having this talk, make sure that they understand you appreciate their concerns and you love them very much, but you’ve got to learn to be independent. Choose your words carefully so that you can get your point across without hurting any feelings.
Think about where they’re coming from
If you aren’t a parent, it’s hard to understand exactly why parents act the way that they do. Understand that they’re acting this way because they care. They want you to succeed and aren’t exactly sure how to help you do it. While you’re undergoing this transition in your life, remember that they’re also undergoing a transition. Be patient and understand that at the end of the day, they love you, but just aren’t going about it the right way.
Be willing to compromise
My Mom was constantly calling and texting me because she was worried about my safety. We eventually worked out a plan where I would shoot her a text or call her as soon as I was back in my room safely for the night, which helped ease her worries. If you’re able to work out a similar plan with your parents, you’ll be incredibly thankful in the long run.
While you might not want to have an hour-long conversation with your parents every night, try to meet in the middle. Maybe you could try calling for some period of time at least once a day or scheduling a longer phone chat at least once a week. Or maybe even a text or email a day will suffice. It all depends on how your parents feel most comfortable communicating. Even though your life may be busy, you should be able to carve out some time for your parents. They deserve your respect.
Keep them involved
A lot of times, hovering happens because parents are scared that if they don’t stay on top of you, they’re going to miss out on everything. Brainstorm ways to help keep them in the loop. Text them a picture of the A+ you got on your paper or invite them to parent’s weekend. Make sure that they still feel like they are a part of your life, and they will be more likely to give you some space.