Despite how great your relationship may be with your roommate, issues are bound to come up at some point or another. Whether the problems have been gradually building up or just up now, they need to be dealt with in a mature and responsible manner that is both fair and honest to both parties involved.
Usually, at the beginning of the year, roommates are required to write-up and sign a roommate agreement – a legally binding document detailing the rules, regulations, and wishes of each individual. They are, without question, to be followed throughout the year. When problems arise, the first course of action should be to return to the original agreement. If the problem you are experiencing was outlined in the agreement, that initial discussion is what you are obliged to go back to.
One of the worst things to do when you are experiencing roommate troubles is to bring other people into the issue. Here’s the truth of it: No one wants to get involved in your problem. People have enough issues of their own without you dragging your issues into their lives. Don’t bring problems from one relationship into another one. It is not fair to your other friends and will start new problems on top of the one you already have. Your hallmates, suitemates, and friends will thank you for not involving them.
You may not exactly be on speaking terms, but if you really want to be productive and work things through with your roommate, without dragging friends into your problems, ask your RA to act as moderator of your discussion. One of the purposes of an RA is to help residents sort through disputes and handle them in a mature fashion. Talking to your roommate through text messages and Facebook only is counter-productive and immature. If you are genuinely interested in seeing things smoothed out and your relationship with your roommate restored, your best bet is to put down your cell phone and ask your RA to be present during the discussion with you and your roommate.
College is the time of your life to deal with situations and problems like a grown up. Playing games, using the cold shoulder, and speaking poorly of one another behind each other’s backs is not the way to go about it. Hopefully these tips will help you and your roommate work out your issues with one another and lead to a healthy roomationship (Yes, I just made up that word).
