Is There Ever “Perfect Timing” in Relationships?

“You couldn’t have met me at a worse time…”

The above quote comes from a recent conversation from a “special man friend” of mine, as we discussed our impossibly busy schedules and undeniable attraction to one another. Yes, I am getting a little personal today.

However, as tough as those nine words were to swallow, it got me to stop and think about what exactly his words meant. What does “timing” even really mean? Furthermore, why does it affect relationships so much? Shouldn’t love and mutual respect and understanding be enough to sustain a couple despite conflicts?

Relationships are never easy, regardless of how simple it may seem. There is always something that will come against you and your significant other. The strength and depth of your relationship will constantly be tested by people, places, and things. From what I have observed and personally experienced in past relationships, opposite schedules, excessive workloads, and lack of commitment to the relationship are some of the biggest issues that separate couples in college.

Especially early in the relationship, spending time together is crucial and arguably one of the most important aspects of your relationship. If you find that your schedules match up and are able to spend ample time together (without getting clingy), then most would consider that to be “good timing”. That does not answer what happens when there is no time, but a sincere desire to be together. It is at this point when hard questions must be asked and an evaluation of how a healthy relationship could be sustained must be put into play. One must also ask if it is “bad timing” or merely a time to get creative with ways to spend time together.

You could go by the saying “love finds a way,” but, I do not like the idea of relying on clichés to decide the outcome of  impending couplehood. Rather, let your own personal maturity, the maturity of your relationship, the level of commitment you have to each other, and your own levels of patience be the determining factor.

Okay, I am going to get personal again. Hopefully someone out there can relate to my little story and see why I am over thinking this whole issue of “timing”.

For arguments sake, suppose there are two good friends of opposite sexes. The boy is burdened with more work than he knows what to do with and the girl who has a little less work than the boy, still finds herself just as constantly busy. Both the boy and girl have developed feelings for one another. The girl knows that to sustain sanity, she should not add another thing onto her plate, but knows that the boy is worth the busier schedule. On the other hand, the boy is determined to stay out of the dating game until he is more settled in life after college. His commitment to his self-made promise causes him to shoot down the chance of a relationship. One night, during a long conversation, the boy says the game-changing words, “you couldn’t have met me at a worse time.” Suddenly, hope seems to  prevail and the girl begins to wonder what would have happened had the boy and girl had met at a different time?

This brings me to the present day, wondering how many relationships, romantic and platonic, that might have had a different ending had the timing been different.

I have heard it said that if you wait for perfect timing in the future, you might miss out on what could be great now, in the present. Through conversations with friends, observing others, and pondering my life, I can not help but see that statement as true. I am not saying to jump into a relationship without paying any mind to the cost. Nonetheless, I will say not to miss out on an opportunity to be with someone who is worth the struggles, hectic schedules, and sleepless nights over homework.

There is no such thing as perfect in this finite world, but you could have something so great that the imperfections do not seem as inconvenient.


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