Is He Actually Into You?

While I know this is a co-ed blog, I am taking some much-needed time to reach out to my female friends who are still battling the college dating scene.

Girls, I’ve been there, and it’s a rough time! While I can’t promise it gets any easier after you graduate (boys will be boys, after all), I can offer some insight and advice from someone who has not only been dumped and heartbroken, but who has seen it happen to friends over and over again.

While I can’t claim to be a relationship expert, I think there are some tell-tale signs if a guy is into you or not.

The good signs:

1. He calls/texts you.
2. He tries to make plans before sunset.
3. He takes you on dates.
4. He takes you to meet his friends.
5. He doesn’t rush getting physical.

The bad signs:

1. He only calls when he’s drunk.
2. A typical “hangout” takes place after dark.
3. You have to be the one to make the plans all the time.
4. He’s rude to your friends/roommates (Side note: this means he doesn’t care about how they view him. Not good in the long run; means he’s not thinking about the future).
5. You find yourself making all sorts of excuses as to why he didn’t call/text you back.

Unfortunately, most of us see these “bad signs,” but we overlook them because we think the guy is genuinely interested or because we are rushing to get into a relationship.

Here’s a hint: If you have to wonder about if he likes you, he probably doesn’t. This is a lesson I wish I had caught on to MUCH earlier in my collegiate life. If I had understood this, I would have saved myself a lot less time that I spent worrying or drowning my sorrow in some ice cream.

If you can’t grasp these concepts from this blog, don’t lose hope! It took me a couple tries before I understood. My favorite educational guide is, hands down, the book “He’s Just Not That Into You.” I wish it could be required reading for every 20-something-year-old girl! I learned so much from reading the book and seeing the movie adapted from it.

One of the parts of the book that has stuck with me the most is about the author, who reveals he once went through a phonebook and called countless numbers until he found the girl he was looking for. That should make you realize that if a guy wants to contact you, he will find you. With Facebook, Twitter and school email, he shouldn’t have a hard time tracking you down! You want the guy that is willing to chase you, if needed.

I made one of my best friends read the book as well, and she has been a huge support. We’re both painfully honest with each other about relationships now. As much as it stings to hear someone tell you, “Hey, I’m not sure that he’s interested in you,” it hurts a lot less hearing it from a friend than figuring it out after wasting all this time over a guy.

Sometimes you just need to take a good, long breath and tell yourself, “He is just not that into you.” It’s a phrase that once you learn to accept will change your life!