Balancing Act: How to Balance Your Friends & Your Relationship

Relationships can be very consuming. When you are in a happy, healthy relationship, it seems to be all you think and talk about with others.

Your significant other is usually the person you always want to be around and the person you hang out with the most. You tend to talk about him/her more often than you talk about others and to be frank, your friends may be tired of it.

Maybe you have a friend that never stops talking about his/her partner? A friend that is constantly bringing up all the fun things they do together and what they plan on doing? The friend that ditches you and your other friends for his/her significant other?

Regardless of the situation, no one likes to be the third wheel and the rejection and resentment that goes along with being left behind has the potential of ruining a friendship.

If you are the one in the relationship, there are many ways that you can strike the balance between spending time with your friends and your partner:

Group Activities

Plan a group activity (bowling, going to the movies, out to dinner) where you, your boyfriend/girlfriend, and friends can all spend time together. It gives everyone the chance to get to know one another better while having a great time.

Don’t Make the Isolation Mistake.

Some couples tend to isolate themselves from their friends, only spending time with one another and rarely talking to anyone else.

By planning a boys or a girls night gives you a chance to be with your friends while giving your partner (and his/her friends) a break. Even by planning a double date with another couple, you are able to step out of your normal boyfriend/girlfriend routine by adding others to the mix.

If You Are Being Ditched…

If you are the one feeling like you need to rescue your friends from their relationships and/or feel hurt by being ditched, there are some things you can do as well.

Keep in mind that if you are being left behind and ignored, it is almost never on purpose.

Your friend is simply in a relationship and they are very happy in exploring the opportunities presented to them, so let them have their fun. If there is a point when you hardly ever talk to or see your friend, then you may want to sit him/her down for a talk.

If you feel like you are being ignored, do not be hostile in return.

Talk it out – tell your friend how you feel and make a plan together to restart your friendship. When talking, remember to avoid a fight; do not spend all of your time dwelling on the negatives on the situation. Focus on finding a common ground and trying to make it work.

Friendships are hard enough when you are single, but even harder when you find you have to split your time between your significant other and your friends. There should never be a reason to ignore your friends for the sake of a relationship, just as there is no reason why you should not be able to talk it out with the friend you feel has forgotten about you.

Ross and Rachel

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