A relationship is about giving and taking from both parties—it’s about compromise. Understanding how to compromise is the key to a healthy and long-lasting relationship.

In college, you will inevitably date at some point, but whether or not your relationship turns into something long-term is up to you. You can only get away with not compromising for so long before the other person feels unequal or mistreated.

If a relationship was a flower, compromise would be the water or sunlight used to fuel the growth of the plant. Without either, the flower will inevitably wither away.

Couple compromising

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However, many people may feel that compromising is almost like reinventing yourself for the other person or a sign of weakness in which the other person is controlling you.

But it doesn’t have to be that way unless you’re compromising for all the wrong reasons.

What are wrong compromises?

The wrong types of compromises will usually make you feel bad about yourself or the situation. If you feel like you are being mistreated or a part of you is being lost, this is when compromise can go wrong.

You may feel as though you’ve been taken advantage of or that you’ve taken a hit to your self-respect or self-esteem. When your partner makes you feel like you have to compromise who you are for him/her, this is a problem that needs to be dealt with.

How to compromise with your partner

In order to compromise in a relationship, both parties must have the following key points:

Mutual Respect

Respect from both people is very important. Without it, you may find yourself stuck in a bickering relationship and ultimately end up unhappy in the relationship or even alone.

If you don’t respect your partner (or your partner doesn’t respect you), how do you plan on making this relationship work? You need to figure out why it is you feel you do not respect your partner or why you are feeling disrespected. If there is just cause, you may have to either fix your own actions or leave the person who is showing you the disrespect.

Honesty

“Honesty is the best policy!” Cliche, but very much true. Whatever you may be feeling or thinking, let your partner know.

Your partner isn’t a mind reader. If you feel mistreated or hurt in your relationship, say something. It’s better to talk it and have the opportunity to save your relationship than to never say anything and end up stuck with them or alone knowing you could have done something.

There is nothing worse than both parties feeling like “something is wrong”, but not knowing what that is or how to fix it. If you bring it up and get it out in the open, the two of you can better work on the issues surrounding your relationship.

Have Good Intentions

In everything you say and do, say or do it with good intentions. Never try to do anything with the intentions of hurting the other person emotionally, mentally and certainly not physically.

It’s important to abide by these three key points in order to compromise with your partner. You are two different individuals. Therefore, every now and again, you’re personalities are going to clash.

It’s also vital to understand that both parties should lose something as well as gain something. Praise each other as well. Don’t solely point out the negatives because I’m sure if you’re with the person, then there are definitely good qualities that can outshine the negative ones.

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